Why Don’t The Bi People Just Come Out Already? An Open Letter To Dan Savage. | Consider the Tea Cosy
December 20, 2013
I’m pansexual, and I don’t talk about this a lot in many of the queer spaces I’m in. The weird thing is I was totally comfortable talking about it around my straight as arrows, casually racist and homophobic old guard friends. Why? They just accepted me as another guy that sleeps with guys, even if I also slept with women. Yeah, I’d get made fun of on occasion but everyone did for any perceived slight – it was part of the macho bonding experience we were all supposed to expect.
When I found a group of gay and lesbian gamers, though, and I came out to them? I got open hostility. Hatred. I was told over and over again that I was exploiting them, that I was lying, that I would “come around eventually” to realizing I’m actually gay. I was pressed into a mold I didn’t fit, still don’t fit, and I was attacked for thinking I could be different. It’s still not something I like to talk about in the gay community because I have, on the whole, felt safer in casually homophobic communities of poverty than I have anywhere in the gay and lesbian continuum of communities, and only because I refuse to be attracted to just one concept of gender or presentation.
Read this and know where people like me are coming from.